Awesome Comebacks


Although the Blue Jays did not quite manage to pull off another comeback last week, you can still enjoy some of history’s best (verbal) comebacks by reading my article!

Let us start off with my personal favorite.

1. Winston Churchill vs. Lady Aster

Lady Aster: “If I was your wife, sir, I would poison your coffee.”

Churchill: “If I was your husband, I would drink it.”

Ouch, that burns.

2. Calvin Coolidge vs. an audience member:

Audience Member: “What do you think of the singer’s execution?”

Coolidge: “I’m all for it.”

That’s a pun, by the way … cough cough.

3. Thomas Reed vs. Henry Clay:

Clay: “I would rather be right than be president.”

Reed: “The gentleman need not trouble himself. He’ll never be either.”

Following up on that, neither of their presidential campaigns were successful.

4. Winston Churchill vs. Bessie Braddock:

Braddock: “Winston, you are drunk. And what’s more, you are disgustingly drunk.”

Churchill: “Bessie, my dear, you are ugly. And what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober, and you will still be ugly.”

5. Edna Ferber vs. Noel Coward:

Noel Coward: “Edna, you almost look like a man.”

Edna Ferber: “So do you.”

6. Abraham Lincoln vs. the haters:

Lincoln, after being called two-faced: “If I had another face, do you think I would wear this one?”

7. Ilka Chase vs. an anonymous actress:

Actress: “I enjoyed reading your book. Who wrote it for you?”

Chase: “Darling, I’m so glad that you liked it. Who read it for you?”


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