If We Were a Movie

Yesterday, my roommates and I snuggled up in sleeping bags in our living room and watched Something Borrowed as a treat for getting through the year in one piece. The sleeping bags were mainly present because only one of us can get through a movie without falling into the clutches of sleep (cue the creepy, maniacal laugh). But for some reason, we actually laughed and cried through the ENTIRE movie. It was magical.

I learned a lot from that movie, mainly that Kate Hudson plays literally the same character in every film she’s in. I also had a big revelation that movies are a big reason I have so many failed expectations of life. There are times when Hollywood does something completely unprecedented and actually gets something right. But most of the time, they basically lie to your face.

So as a finals stress reliever, I decided to make a list of a few things movies totally ace and others that they butcher like me trying to speak French:

The whole “opposites attract” idea- Friendship edition

The main storyline that I think mirrors real life is the one where completely different, unexpected friendships blossom. The one where the crazy, fun wild best friend somehow gets roped together with the sensible, caring best friend. And even though the wild child drives the sensible one crazy, for some reason, she can’t help but love her. It works because they challenge one another day in and day out and because they are able to accept one another even when they don’t always understand each other.

Exhibit A:

Movie Best Friends Collage

For some reason, movie opposites are always hair opposites too. What gives?

In university, this relationship gives you the balance that you need to maintain an avid social and academic life. It’s the best feeling in the world to know that you always have each other to fly to the moon or to stay grounded back here on earth.

Prom

Did I become a new woman? Um, no. Did I suddenly realize my purpose in life? NO. Did doves fly out of my limousine? NO THEY DID NOT.

I spent prom night trying to understand why prom existed. Enough said.21 Jump Street Doves

University life

I honestly cannot stand Legally Blonde or Sidney White because those girls had so much time in their hands that they were able to change the entire system of their universities. I expected to have the same amount of spare time in university. I even signed up for Netflix about a week before school started. After a year, I’ve found that I have about 5.3 minutes of free time a day and that’s used up standing in the Tim Hortons line.

University Lecture
Bueller? Bueller?

In addition, everyone’s attention was always to the front where a funny and intelligent professor makes the hour pass in the blink of an eye. In my experience, half the students show up after September and January, and about 35% of those students tame their desire to scroll through Facebook or watch highlights of last night’s hockey/basketball/football game.

The grand gesture

You guys know what I’m talking about. Girls literally grow up their whole lives thinking that the only way that they’ll know if a guy loves them is if he literally captures the sun in a mason jar for them.

Exhibit B:

Romantic Gesture collageI don’t really know why guys think windows will help their case but whatever. This movie convention is so false that it is laughable. So please don’t expect this. You should be happy in the little things and the comforts of everyday life with your man. That’s what really counts at the end of the day.

Another thing that movies seem to zoom by: the stresses of student life. I hope none of you expected it to be a breeze because hard work has never been such a necessity. Good luck on your finals, everyone!

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