The Ultimate McDonalds Cheat Sheet

There’s this age-old tale that my parents like to tell me of a time when McDonalds was only in America. This was also around the time when they were still trying to figure out a wheel. In university where McDonalds is a good, cheap means of fending off starvation, it’s easy to get bored with the standard menu. Luckily, thanks to the many hours I’ve spent there during midterm and finals season, I’ve accumulated some tricks to getting around the standard menu. Please hold your applause until the end.

Mcflurry

It’s no secret that fast food restaurants have secret menus. There are many interesting and awesome items on the McDonalds secret menu that you can check out here. While scrolling through, some great twists definitely jumped out at me:

  • Pie McFlurry

After one instant connection, the pie McFlurry and I found love in a hopeless place. This delectable little treat is a pie slice blended directly into your McFlurry and is basically the best of both worlds. It’s a tad more in price than the standard snack size and regular size McFlurry’s at $2.69 (snacksize) and $3.39 (regular) but it’s literally like stars dancing on your tongue.

How to Order: Simply order any McDonalds Pie and a McFlurry. Next, ask them politely if they could blend it in with your McFlurry of choice for an amazing “Pie McFlurry”. You can always mix it in yourself if they say no.Neopolitan Shake

  • Neapolitan Shake

I am a firm believer in mixology. If my drink does not have traces of Sprite and Nestea and Fruitopia mixed up with some Coke, you best believe there is a foreign alien taking over my brain. So I may have been a tad excited to find the Neapolitan shake, which is a smooth, delicious blend of the classic ice cream flavours: vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate. A little bonus: the Neapolitan shake is the same price as regular shakes except it’s more bang for your buck.

How to order: Ask for a “Neapolitan Shake” off the secret menu. If that doesn’t work, ask for an equal mix of Strawberry, Chocolate, and Vanilla shakes.

  • McdoublePoor Man’s Big Mac

Excuse me? Did someone just confirm the existence of a $2 Big Mac? I’m afraid it’s true. Now, more money can go towards rent and books. Oh, the humanity! Seriously, the only difference is the bun, which is minor. A sandwich that usually costs more than 4 dollar with tax is reduced to less than 2 dollars. Can I get a hallelujah?

How to Order: Order a McDouble and omit the ketchup and mustard. Then, add shredded lettuce and the special mac sauce and you’re done. The flavour of a Big Mac without the price drama.

  • Real Cheese? Real Eggs?

So here’s the deal: McDonald’s does not use 100% real cheese or eggs on your sandwiches. I know, I literally just tuned your world upside down.

Though this reduces the price of McDonalds meals, it does not do anything for your conscience when you skip on the oatmeal and order a breakfast sandwich. However, you can actually ask for real cheese or real eggs when you order. This means they get a 100% real egg, crack it open, and cook it on the spot. Or they reach over and grab some real cheese instead of the processed. It may taste weird, but that’s just your taste buds trying to fit real and McDonalds in the same context.

Egg sandwich

Left: New and improved sandwich. Right: Normal sandwich.

How to Order: All you have to do is tell the cashier you want a “round egg” on your sandwich and they’ll replace the egg patty with a real egg, free of charge. Cheesewise, ask for swiss cheese instead of the standard cheddar on any sandwich.

It’s not the ultimate cheat sheet for your exams, but hopefully, it will make your next late night trip to McDonalds a little more adventurous and exciting.

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