If This Doesn’t Work Out…

Getting midterm marks back can often be a shock to students, and this year is no exception. But, fellow students of Western, do not despair: if that bio exam made you want to reconsider neurosurgery, and your Spanish exam led you to a fajita boycott, there is still hope!

University might not be where your passion lies after receiving your grade on a botched test. This is a several thousand-dollar investment, and if that test has you frustrated, fed up, and looking to quit while you’re ahead, know there are other options.

For those of us who have lost sight in scholastic endeavor, there are still plenty of available careers! A university degree is not the be-all and end-all, and perfectly reasonable jobs exist beyond the scholastic realm. If university does not work out for you, I have found some viable options:

1. Wikipedia Editor

-English is a field of study that can dishearten even the most linguistically savvy student. Even a poorly placed period or two can have a huge impact on a student’s grade on a major essay. Thanks to Wikipedia, you can still live out your dreams of pursuing a life filled with English… As an editor! Life never gets boring when your days are filled with perusing the World Wide Wikipedia.

2. Taxidermist

-If you love animals, and it was a toss up between med school and vet school, then this job might be right up your alley.  Surprisingly, after taking an online career profile test from a ‘reputable source’, this was listed as a job I would be quite suited for (right after grounds keeping). This could be a start-up business idea, or even a great apprentice opportunity!

3. Golf Ball Diver:

-For all of those would-be athletes out there: try your hand at this fun-filled and exciting career! Starting your day at the golf course by contorting yourself into a musty wetsuit, and jumping into a waterfowl fecal-matter lined pond. Days filled with fetching balls other people have lost will give you the sense of satisfaction being a Chartered Accountant never could!


4. Walking Billboard

-Law school is hard, this is common knowledge: but if you want the opportunity to work on your skills at convincing others of things, without spending years of your life and hard–earned money at law school, this may be the job for you. Instead of winning court cases, you can use those lawyerly debate skills to attract customers to your store of employment! Whatever the business, you can be sure they will appreciate your opinion-swaying prowess.

5. Urine Drug-Screen Collector

-As a doctor, collecting urine is most likely going to be an experience you will only get to partake in every so often. When you are a urine drug-screen collector, your whole job will revolve around this exhilarating practice! This job involves lots of travel, and is perfect for people who don’t mind taking a road trip with a vehicle filled with urine samples. One of the perks? This job requires absolutely no previous urine collecting experience!

6. Comicon Speed-Dating Coordinator

-Anthropology is the study of people, and what better way to study people than by observing the way they interact en-mass in a dating environment? Comicon is sure to provide an interesting base for fieldwork! Who needs to study other cultures in exotic places when you can study this very unique culture right in your own town? As an SDC, you organize opportunities for comic junkies to connect with one another, costume and all.

Why keep yourself locked in to a straightforward degree program, when you could have a dynamic and exciting job like the ones I listed above! Be the life of any party you go to, and consider the alternatives out there!


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